Review - Disney's Fantasia (1940)

Recently, my brother and I decided to sit and watch the entire Disney Animated Feature Canon as adults. I decided to write down my thoughts through the process. 3rd in the list is Fantasia (1940).

Let me just start off, this was a chore. I went into it thinking, “I like classical music, I like Disney. A match made in heaven!” Oh. My. Sweet. Baby. Jesus. I was wrong. I was sorry.

I am so so sorry.

First of all, let me just get this out of the way. Our narrator, the pedantic Master of Ceremonies, Deems Taylor, condescendingly talks at us, posing in increasingly awkward poses about what we plebeians couldn’t possibly know about music. I understand Fantasia was made for the lowest common denominator, but I still found myself rolling my eyes and flipping off the screen a few times whenever he was talking.

The all white, mostly male orchestra is backlit by a giant scrim, giving the entire thing a bas relief presentation half lit in high concentrated gels of red and green. We are also forced to watch the orchestra come on, move around, talk to each other and even go have a smoke break. Once, a harpist was caught moving as the camera focused on the narrator. She freezes awkwardly and stays in that position for some time. I found myself wishing they were all drinking Scotch, smoking and being normal musicians, just so I’d have something to be amused by.

First up, the Toccata in Fugue by Bach - Boring. Visually, it was a technicolor splash zone with no story. I also wished I was listening to it in the original medium, an organ, where I can be amazed at a musicians agility. Like when I listen to it normally.

Next, Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker Suite - Boring and a little offensive. This abridged version (Missing are the overture and the march)  of everyone’s favorite Christmas activity, involves anthropomorphising inanimate things, plus the odd tiny animal. So does Disney's "Nutcracker". But Disney has thrown out the particular details. The Chinese Dance is danced by mushrooms who look all startlingly racisty, but are not, actually Chinese, so it’s “socially acceptable,” except they wear coolie-hats on their round round heads, long robes and pigtails; the Arabian Dance by "Arabian" goldfish being viewed in a disturbing act of fishy voyeurism, when the fish are “caught” being beautiful and sexy and moderately dressed by their see through negligee like fins, they become coquettish chorines, gazing at us come-hitherly through pink heavy lidded eyes and fluttering lashes; the Russian dance by "Russian" thistles and orchids. Sometimes it goes further: "Waltz of the Flowers" shows two entire changes of seasons, with leaves, fairies, seed pods, seeds, snowflakes - everything but flowers.

The following segment, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, was generally engaging. A concert piece by French composer Paul Dukas, it was originally an ages-old fairy tale that had been interpreted as a poem by Goethe - a story that illustrated the dangers of power over wisdom. I enjoyed the actual story, WITH A PLOT, over all, and enjoyed how it took no dialogue to emote an engaging story, adn the music was used to help tell the story. The only drawback to this segment was how the brooms were interpreted. They were undoubtedly caricatures of african american slaves in pre-emancipated South. That aside. Very enjoyable.

Let’s just skip the awkward conversation between Mickey and the conductor. Because… WHY?!

Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring - Boring and laughingly  historically inaccurate. It tells a fiction story of teh beginning of the world, though Kudos to Disney for not presenting some Creationist schlock. I did glean some excitement when a triceratops came in to view. Triceratops have always been my favorite. But then it was crushed again when inevitably a stegosaurus was given the teeth by an allosaurus while everyone else (meaning the other dinosaurs) just sat and watched. Rude.

By this time, the orchestra was as bored as I was, and started playing some really jazzy riffs, but this is cut off quickly for an intimate introduction to the “real star of the story” (???) the Soundtrack. I was then subjected to whatever this was going on just then. It was a whole 7 minutes of “WUT.” And then we topped it off with an intermission. Good. Disney seemed to give up, just like me.

We were brought back from a boring intermission, where I refilled my wine with relish, renewed and hopeful for meaning in the next segment.

NOPE.

Beethoven’s Sixth Symphony and Pastorale - Boring. Centaurs! Gods! Pegasus! Fauns! Boobs! Sexism!  Zeus and Vulcan being jerks!  Girl “centaurettes” - because the word “centaurs” is male only? WHAT? Start off all naked then get slightly less naked when garlanded with impractical flower necklace bra things and then are made presentable for their men by being adorned and made up with hats from flowers and bark and live birds (just think about the repercussions of that fashion choice) by baby cupids with the fashion sense of Cher’s stylist in the 80’s. They flirt and are courted by husky centaurs with strapping bare chests and expectations from their women. A cupid's bottom turns into a heart shape before a fade to black. UGH. The only good thing about this segment was Bacchus and his awesome wine barrel throne.

Now, my saving grace. Dance of the Hours by Ponchielli. HILARIOUS. All you need to know is: DANCING HIPPOS BEING COURTED BY DANCING CROCODILES. Mic drop.

And then Night on Bald Mountain by Mussorgsky. YEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS. So great. A dramatic celebration of evil during the night of the Witches' Sabbath. As night falls at the foot of Bald Mountain, the lord of evil and death, the Black God Chernobog appears on the top of the jagged peak. He calls up the souls of the dead and makes the demons dance. This segment, true to Mussorgsky fashion, winds itself up to a nice, rampant fervor and tumbles down one again with the bells, chiming in the dawn. This segment has to be the best in the entire movie, the music and the story complimenting eachother beautifully. And Chernabog is BAD. ASS.

This oh so rad and dark portion of the film is followed immediately by the most painful interpretation of one of my favorite songs of all time, Schubert’s Ave Maria, I have ever been forced to experience. The singing was terrible, the animation was BOOOOOORING and I wished to end it all. Over and over.

And then, oddly, the show doesn’t end by talking or watching the orchestra leave for the bar. The screen immediately goes black. BLAM.  It was swift, painless and blunt like I wished my execution would be. It seemed that Disney realized I wasn’t really watching any more and just turned off the cameras.

I realized I made it all the way through. Awake… albeit damaged.

I could have skipped everything except Sorcerer’s Apprentice, Night on Bald Mountain and Dance of the Hours with the hilarious and operatic hippo/crocodile dramatics, including leggy ostriches and elephants with long eyelashes en pointe. That portion was brilliance. That way, I could have spent an enjoyable half hour instead of giving up a year of my life to sit through the rest of it.

Over all, I got the impression that the movie should have come with a warning label. I should have been required to be under the influence of mind expanding drugs before pressing play, like it was some Laser Floyd show.

4/10

Review - Disney's Pinocchio (1940)

My brother and I have recently started a Disney animated movie marathon. Last night we watched two movies, Snow White (1937) and Pinocchio (1940). This review is for Pinocchio.

Pinocchio isn’t so much the well rounded journey I remembered, but a linear cautionary tale. “GO TO SCHOOOOOOOOL!!!” it screams at me in a loud screeching voice, blinking neon colors and flashing lights, just so I wouldn’t miss it. It pounds itself into me, incessantly hitting me in the head.

I don’t really like Pinocchio as a character, even though I should, but that’s my issue, not the movie’s. I do like that his innocence is used to move the story instead of ignorance as the cause for his downfall. He simply doesn’t know better, and Jiminy Cricket is a little too small to exude any influence on him. He is always trying to keep up, condemned by hopping after him and forgetting to check that Pinocchio is within sight. And even in once scene, where Pinocchio lies to the Blue Fairy, Jiminy Cricket, instead of insisting Pinocchio tell the truth, says, “leave me outta this.”

Now. Jiminy Cricket. Hellllooooooo Jesus metaphor. Jiminy Cricket was used in the mid 19th century as a minced exclamation to take the place of “Jesus Christ” as an oath. Pinocchio is continually told to let his conscience be his guide, and is severely punished by situation when he doesn’t listen. However, it is clear that Jiminy and the Blue Fairy are always watching and waiting to get Pinocchio out of trouble.

I was, however, totally and utterly charmed by Gepetto, who, in a reverse of the typical Disney trope later used of the orphaned child trying to find a parent, is the kindly, lonely parent desperate for a child. I don’t think that it is fair that when Gepetto has faith in the wishing star and is granted his wish by the Blue Fairy for Pinocchio to become a real boy, he’s rewarded for his goodness with one hell of a heartache. Poor Gepetto.

The other characters are colorful, from Figaro the kitty and and the hussy in the fishbowl, Cleo, who kisses everyone and has a thing for interspecies relationships, to the villains, Honest John, Gideon, Stromboli and the Coachman. I even felt myself drawn to Lampwick, the binge drinking, chain smoking truant who befriends Pinocchio on Pleasure Island. I didn’t like Monstro, but then, I’m not supposed to.

The movie is overall darker than other Disney movies. I enjoyed the balance of light and dark overall in the film. The part on Pleasure Island where Lampwick completes his transformation into a donkey, using the shadow on the wall is truly the most terrifying thing I’ve ever seen. It is Hitchcock-esque implied horror and it delivers the terror far more effectively than simply showing the transformation. I involuntarily cringed.

Altogether charming are the underwater sequences before the meeting of Monstro the Whale. The climactic chase after the escape from the belly of the whale is handled brilliantly. It is the sharp contrast between the lighter moments and the darker ones that gives the film a correct blend of fantasy and horror.

It was also visually appealing. The detail of Gepetto’s shop, his clocks, the toys and candle holders, the maelstrom of Pleasure Island, the dancing of the marionettes in Stromboli’s show. All exquisitely detailed. The scene of Gepetto searching for Pinocchio with a lantern on a rainy night after he has been captured by Stromboli is unforgettable imagery and very moving.

And the music. The music perfectly accents the dramatic chase for the whale sequence and the songs throughout are in keeping with the mood and characters of the story. It serves as a steadfast narrator, more reliable than Jiminy Cricket. From the catchy and fun “There Are No Strings on Me” to the iconic Disney theme “When You Wish Upon A Star” the movie is full of fantastic gems.

As one vehicle, I was pleased by Pinocchio. Even though the actual story was not the well rounded adventure I hoped for, the piece as a whole was a great mesh of traditional Disney magic.

8/10

Review - Disney's Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)

As a child, I was enchanted by Disney movies. I dressed up as the princesses, sang in my backyard, pretending to be Ariel, I danced with my friends like Belle (I also ascribe my love of reading to her. Thanks Disney!), I searched for Heffalumps and Woozles and I ran around the house shouting, “pink blue pink blue pink blue!” because I loved Flora, Fauna and Merriweather in Sleeping Beauty. In a fun social experiment, for me, atleast, my brother and best friend, Jamie and I recently started a Disney animated movie marathon, to watch all the movies as adults. I thought I’d write down my thoughts during the process.

First up? Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937).

Although much of the praise this film receives, may be due to the fact that it was it's creator's first attempt at an animated feature, I think it's obvious merits and artistic triumphs are enough to maintain it's place as a great piece of work.

First, there is the artwork, which is stunning. The color isn't at it's most vibrant, a little bland in the background and almost no use of jeweltones at all, however the styling as a virtual watercolor painting really struck me. The details in the animation never fail to amaze. Just look at the raindrops in the chase sequence towards the end, or the faces carved into the wooden stairs in the dwarves’ house. There is always something to look at.

The characters are of various degrees of interest, with Snow White, probably the least of these. Sometimes I wonder if Disney put any thought into her character, if you call it that. I’m usually really opposed to stories where the heroine’s one fault is that she is simply “too sweet” or “too good.” It makes for bad story telling and bland characters. At some parts of the movie, I almost wished the queen would come and get her just to get her out of the picture.

The dwarfs are all charming, they’re the ones who carry the film during their screentime with the princess. From Doc’s odd and hilarious speech impediment to Grumpy’s bad attitude (Grumpy is totally my favorite). Though, the treatment of the simple one disturbed me a little, I’ll admit. The only drawback is that they, in their goofy adorability, as fun it is to watch, it takes the place of any exposition that could be utilized there. Without the long sequences of marching home from work, finding the monster that cleaned the house, washing for dinner and being kissed by Snow White on the way back to work, the story itself would be 15 minutes long. It seems to me that if Disney had showed us the set up instead of making us read it in the beginning, it would have been a mite longer and a little more interesting.

However, one should not deny, that the true star of this film, is the evil queen. Both in her presence of glamour, (HELLO, look at the cape and sleeve combo she totally rocks and I don’t even have to mention her totally Goldtastic peacock throne) and in her totally bad ass transformation as an old crone, she is fascinating and mesmerizing to watch. I don't believe another Disney villain has ever been both frightening and enchanting, like she has.

There was one minor inconsistency that did bother me. In the beginning when the audience of parents and their illiterate 5 year olds is forced to read the plot, it says that the Evil Queen Badass made Snow White her scullery maid. We are then introduced to Snow White in rags and clogs, washing the courtyard stairs. Okay, no problem there… however, when the Hunstman takes Snow White out into the forest to bump her off, she’s in this pretty dress. What is a scullery maid doing with a dress like that? Sure, it could have been part of her wardrobe from the pre-beauty-despot take over, but even then, why was Snow White wearing it if she was going to go hang out in the dirt, picking flowers and getting herself all gross? Was part of the Queen’s decree to get her all schmancy before she’s snuffed it? Truly evil. Totally awesome.

Lastly, the music in this film is truly memorable. The "Heigh Ho" sequence is visually impressive, and the dwarfs song as they bathe is a really cute. Not to mention Snow White's anthem "Someday My Prince Will Come"; another gem in the Disney library. However, the best song in the whole movie in my opinion is the dwarfs’ Yodel Song (The Silly Song). The upbeat cuteness of it simply makes me smile inspite of myself.

Overall, I had a good time and laughed a great deal. I also had a fun time riffing it. Just a little. All in good fun.

7/10